Travel Fun !?!

From Dec. 23 2022:

After 27 days of touring our Christmas show, we played our last show last night in Lynn Massachusetts,

After checking into our hotel at Midnight, we had a 5:00 am lobby call to come home.

We we worried that the “once a generation cyclone bomb,” storm would  cancel our flight.

The plane had some mechanical issues, that delayed our departure about an hour. I was worried that the delay would push back the small window of time we had before the storm was forecast to get worse.

I kept looking up from my news on my phone as I constantly felt the plane moving. I assumed at first that it was the loading of the plane, until Dirk, our bass player, mentioned it was the wind blowing the plane back and forth.

Finally we took off, and hit some really bumpy air before we got to cruising altitude.   But once there I finally could relax knowing that the storm probably wouldn’t keep us from getting home.  Eventually we got to where the air was smooth and I fell asleep.

After napping a bit, I woke up when someone shoulder checked me really hard.  It was a portly kid, about ten I’d guess. after bumping into me he staggered down the aisle hitting both sides of the hallway just past me where the bathrooms were.  He went into the bathroom and didn’t bother to close the door.  That’s when I noticed that his feet were sticking out of the bathroom toes down and heals up.  It was then that I noticed the vomit all over the outside of bathroom door and ironically the hand sanitizer bottle mounted next to it. I turned around to see if anyone else was witnessing the drama unfolding in front of me, that’s when I noticed the 4 small puddles of what looked like watery pancake batter on my sweatshirt on my shoulder and down my back. I looked around and no one saw what had happened, even Dirk who was sitting right across the isle from me was blissfully watching his screen.

Right around this time the kid left the bathroom, after successfully coating the bathroom and himself in vomit, and stumbled back grabbing everything he could on his way back to his seat. I was by this time, trying to use the small drink napkin I had in my hand to mop up the barf of my sweatshirt.  I had to stow the video screen that pivots from the bottom of the bulkhead seats in order to get out of my seat to go clean off in the bathroom, and I grabbed another small puddle of vomit that the kid had deposited on my screen, on his way back to his seat.

I went into the bathroom adjacent from the one he had just so successfully customized and made his own, and started washing up.

A few seconds later there’s a loud banging on the door,   perhaps the kid back for more, because he didn’t want to use the other bathroom? I’ll never know because I didn’t open the door. A minute or so after I washed up I opened the door to see the kids father with a paper towel attached to his shoe as he did small pirouettes with his toe on the bottom of the other bathroom.

But quickly, upon seeing the extent of the mess, the father quickly retreated to his seat.

That’s when the show started as I got to see everyone’s face as they looked into the horror show that was the bathroom.

I was especially grateful that I had my Covid mask on so I didn’t have to smell what was festering in there.  A good half an hour went by while folks peeked in.

One of the stewardesses looked in a couple of times and ignored it.  Eventually a young male flight attendant, (clearly the lowest on the flight crew, totem pole,) looked in aghast, and made some call to another part of the plane, that I can only assume instructed him to clean it up.  He reluctantly found some rubber gloves and rolled up his sleeves and took one step into the bathroom and immediately retreated in horror. He closed the door and did his best to slide the little“occupied” sign over from the outside.

A few hours later we landed and in typical holiday traveller, etiquette, families started charging up the isle where ever they saw an open space. where they, of course, stood for another 20 minutes, keeping the other folks in their seats from standing up or grabbing their bags. 🙄

And thus bookends another years tour, watching a endless number of stressed passengers navigate air travel. 🎄🎅🧑‍🎄🤶🎄

The good news is that I’ll soon be home in Ojai where it’s supposed to be 81° on Christmas Day.  The unfortunate states we just successfully flew over are experiencing up to 40° below zero with wind chill!!

Not my favorite travel day ever, but certainly not the worst.

I’m grateful that we didn’t have to cancel any shows on this Christmas tour due to Covid. I’m grateful that I’m coming home to  Sunny Southern California, and I’m very grateful that I don’t have to fly again for 3 weeks. Mostly, I’m grateful to be going home to see my family.

P.s. for those who don’t fly often, that paper bag in the seat pocket in front of your seat is for “flight sickness.” If necessary, PLEASE use it.

And parents, maybe check in with your kids a bit more on flights. 🤷🏻‍♂️

Happy Hollidays and safe travels y’all!

P.p.s I can’t wait to take a shower the instant I get home. 😖